China Post #2

On Wednesday we went to the Great Wall. It was Samantha's first time, our 2nd, same place. It was fantastic, except for the rain! Imagine trying to climb very uneven stairs and ramps in the rain. Dave and Katrina made it to one of the higher towers and Samantha and I made it about a third of the way. On our way to the Great Wall we stopped at the jade factory. Lots of impressive stuff, very expensive. On the way home we stopped for lunch at a porcelain factory. The Chinese have their tourist restaurant/factory/gift shop areas down to quite a science. On Thursday we went to the Summer Palace in Beijing, which was very beautiful. Weather cooperated so we had a nice boat ride on the lake. Samantha enjoyed seeing all the intricate paintings on the walkway around the lake, including the monkey king. While there we also had lunch at an older style building, very nice. The rest of the day was getting to the airport, flying to Xian, and getting settled in our new hotel. Today we headed out to see the Terra Cotta Warriors. On the way we stopped at a factory where they make the smaller replicas. The kids got to make their own. Then we did a little shopping and headed out to the site. Talk about amazing, hard to describe but we'll post pictures either sometime during the trip or when we get home. Tonight we're scheduled to go to a dinner show. Always and Forever is taking pretty good care of us. Our local guide isn't quite as good as the one in Beijing but she's okay. The hotels have been decent, not first class but still very nice for China. Every bus ride has been pleasant with plenty of air conditioning and water bottles.

China Post #1

We have finished our 2nd full day of touring in China. We arrived safely on Sunday, and immediately met up with our tour guide. Traveling went well including my back and leg. I had to take some extra pain medication and it worked fine. We have a very nice tour group, a total of four families consisting of four couples, four 9&10 year olds, and three teenage girls. As I write this we have the Chinese coverage of the Olympics on our hotel TV. We miss the US, especially since FB is blocked! Ethan is very kindly putting this up for us. When I say FB is blocked, what I mean is that it is blocked completely for everyone here! Before I go into detail, I want to say it's been very interesting so far doing pretty much a repeat of everything we did the first time around, the main difference being summer vs. winter. Yesterday was very hot but we started early so enjoyed fairly good temperatures for awhile. Today was raining all day. Yesterday the day started out by touring the Temple of Heaven and surrounding park. It's a very impressive series of round courtyards and temples. Everything has been preserved well. In the park, many people were playing games, dancing and exercising, and just hanging out in general. The kids had some opportunities to do paddle ball and play with streamers. We visited some shops and tried to avoid the vendors by constantly saying Bu-yao. After that we made a quick stop at Tianemenn Square. From there we went to the ancient part of the city that's under restoration. First stop was the drum tower, sort of like a bell tower but with several huge drums. Then a rickshaw ride along a canal to our next stop - lunch provided by a local host. It was delicious food and a fascinating experience. More and more dishes kept appearing, and at the end they explained the layout of each shared household. The individual dwellings are about the size of a living room, and the one we were in had the cook's bed, serving area with tables, a small couch, and some highly valuable family heirlooms as the hostess would have been a Manchurian princess. Other dwellings served other purposes, such as laundry etc. In the afternoon we went to a tea house and had a private presentation. Really fun! Sort of like a wine tasting but with tea and a demonstration of how tea is made, special teapots with cool features, even a jasmine tea ball that turns into a flower in the water. Finally, the kids enjoyed watching "pee-pee boy"; I'll leave that to your imagination but his purpose is to show that the water is hot enough. The adults enjoyed it too and it was certainly a selling point for tea since a free one came with each purchase. Today as I said it was raining, but we still enjoyed our excursion to the Forbidden City where emperors lived for a long time. The next place was a silk factory. The presentation there was fascinating, and of course we did some shopping afterward! Then onward to a very nice restaurant for lunch where we had a full duck meal, minus bringing out the whole duck this time like they did our last trip. That was sort of a relief because Samantha would not have liked that! Finally we went to the free market and did shopping for about an hour.

Why China?

(SORRY Blogger won't put breaks in the paragraphs.) The other day I was prepping Samantha a little for our China trip. We are going to visit the orphanage that she's from, and I was telling her about her adoption. Then it occurred to me to tell her WHY we chose China. I'm feeling like blogging about that today. When I was in college, I befriended a girl from Hong Kong. Something inside me stirred, thinking there was something special about this people group. When I was working on my master's at Temple for a degree in ESL, I got to tutor an elderly woman in Chinatown. At first the strong smell of garlic in the area disturbed me, but when I met with my student I couldn't help but love her amazing hospitality and bubbly character. One thing about the Chinese is that they love to laugh. You may think they're a rather serious lot b/c of communism and all that, but quite the opposite is true. Sometimes their laughter is at the expense of others, but unlike in the USA, it's different b/c it's not mean-spirited and people don't take offense in the same way. It's all part of the culture. I admit in giving this "expertise" I'm borrowing a little from exposure to other Asian cultures, especially the Japanese, whom I had more contact with as an ESL instructor when I officially entered my profession. When we were in China, it seemed that random individuals or groups would burst into song. How many times have you walked around a city and heard REAL singing, not someone who's in their own little world or someone performing for a dime? This confirmed my theory that the Chinese are happy! Another thing I love about the Chinese is their industrious nature. They may be a little too much so. You know why everything, I mean everything you purchase was made in China? They never stop working. They're literally up all night working. Construction in the city continues, no one worries about people in nearby four star hotels who may be trying to sleep. Speaking of everything being made in China, I bought a gift for our upcoming trip at a midwestern breadstore called Great Harvest. It was a wooden bread plate carved with their logo, which has a stalk of wheat. I thought, how nice this would be, showing a little about the heartland. And to my dismay when I went to pay for it, there was the tiny sticker "Made in China." I had already rejected several other gifts for that reason. I bought it anyway. I've noticed this seemingly inbred industriousness in Samantha. She loves to organize and help with cooking, laundry, and yardwork, to name a few. I have no doubt she'll succeed in life even though school continues to be a challenge for her. She can't help but succeed, she's Chinese! One more thing before I end this ramble. When Dave and I were starting to catch a larger vision for missions, we attended a conference on China. We got all excited about me teaching ESL and Dave doing something with economics in China. We even considered living there. I'll tell you what, that dream hasn't died. We still see ourselves doing short term trips to China in our lifetime. So why China? Because underneath all the twisted political and cultural brokenness, there's a group of people that know how to live life.

An A-Ha Moment

I'm starting to see the big picture of why God put me and Samantha together. I know some things about child development having studied it in college and then raising three older kids. I also know some things about language development, having an advanced degree in TESOL. Samantha is lacking in both life and language skills, and since she was young I've felt inadequate to help her, even with my background. But the more I explore how to help her and find teachers and therapists who will address her needs, the more I'm seeing what I can do for her. They're the experts in working with children. I have knowledge that informs my assessment of what kind of help she needs. I continue to seek out that help for her, and then come alongside the experts to reinforce what she gets in classroom strategies, tutoring and therapy.

In other words, I'm the bread on the sandwich so to speak. I hold together the meat of what she needs. I recognize that she needs something, find it for her, then reinforce it. I've known this in a roundabout way but saw it more clearly yesterday when I got to observe on camera what the ISU speech therapist did with her. It was our first day, and I'll be able to do this each time. I can watch the therapy session and then follow up at home. I think I'm a little ahead of the game with my background but still have a lot to learn. In the past, I was able to observe Samantha with the OT when she had sensory processing therapy, and this enabled me to understand her struggles and deal with them myself. However, I got lazy and it became exhausting to be creative in the ways that were required, so I sort of gave up.

Now, I see that this is what God has called me to. I'm not homeschooling anymore; instead I'm the special needs child advocate and supporter. It's new territory as a parent, but I can see how my professional background gives me the resources to do it. Not that someone without my background couldn't do it - I see parents all the time who are learning on the job just like me and doing well at it. The thing my background helps me with is giving me confidence that I wouldn't otherwise have, since I'm not a Type A person. I'm the more cautious, methodical, trial and error type that gets easily overwhelmed when there's too much on my plate and I'm in over my head. In this case, because I've dabbled in language education already, I don't feel in over my head; it's at least vaguely familiar.

A 20 year old mom of 14 kids

I'd like to introduce you to Katie Davis, who between the ages of 18 and 20 adopted fourteen kids in a small village in Uganda. She has recently written a book called "Kisses from Katie" that I just finished last night. Along with mothering and homeschooling her own kids, she has founded Amazima Ministries through partnering with friends in the US, and is able to sponsor around 400 kids for food, clothing, and medical needs.

Katie has a real heart for Jesus and being his hands and feet. She reminds me of a modern day Amy Carmichael. She is knowledgeable in how to care for many medical conditions that plague the people of Uganda. One thing she describes is removing jiggers from feet, which are little insects that burrow their way into feet and cause painful walking. Once they're removed she supplies shoes to prevent the problem from developing again.

Katie is a true testimony of a young life living out her calling. She shares honestly about the hardships of leaving an upper middle class life and potential marriage. If you need a good book to read to pull you out of complacency, this is it!

Dave's Surgery

It's been twelve days since Dave's surgery. It's been a roller coaster time. To summarize, Dave had about 5 inches removed from his small intestine to restore health lost due to Crohn's, along with having his gall bladder removed since he had gallstones. This is his third surgery. This time the incision was longer, he was in a hospital out of town b/c he chose a colo-rectal surgeon, and there were a couple extra things that happened post surgery that hindered a quicker recovery.

First, his pain wasn't fully managed from the epidural upon waking up from the surgery, and this affected his blood pressure. It took the rest of the day for them to get his pain under control. It was a little scary when the nurse told us they needed the doc's approval to up the epidural because the higher it goes, the greater the chance you can stop breathing. Upon that news I had to leave and go home for the evening. They said they were going to monitor him so that was somewhat of a comfort.

The increase made a huge difference and Dave was feeling much better by Day 2. Unfortunately he was struggling to get uninterrupted sleep not only from the nurses but his roommate, who kept his TV on nonstop, talked to any and every nurse and tech that came in, and talked incessantly to visitors, even to himself at night. Dave tried to make the best of it and doze when he could. He eventually got earplugs and that helped a lot.

The first couple days Dave was only able to swab his mouth with water, then he was given permission to have ice chips. On the third day they took an x-ray b/c the output from his NG tube was almost twice as much as his fluid intake. They thought the tube was in too far. The x-ray didn't show that it was, but by day 4 they concluded that they needed to adjust it, and after they did, the output reduced to the point that he could finally go on clear liquids. However, since the epidural was still in place (longer than the usual time), his bowel function didn't resume. Finally the epidural came out and "normal" recovery kicked in Friday night.

One surprising thing in comparison to other surgeries was that Dave had more energy and wasn't exhausted after doing his walks. The first day he was able to stand up, the second day he tried his first walk to the end of the hall, and by the third day he made it around the whole floor and was even doing laps.

True to Dave's nature, he kept the nurses laughing and told us some funny stories. One was that on the weekend, he "sneaked" out for a walk by himself. He was supposed to have a tech, but when they changed shifts, he figured that the new ones would assume he got permission to be out on his own and wouldn't say anything. He was right!

Things are going fine here at home. Yesterday he was more adventurous and tried french fries; he didn't have a very good night so I guess he's not quite ready for a full diet even though the doctors said he could have it. He didn't eat very many, but even so, his body wasn't prepared to handle them. Other than that, things have been going about as well as can be expected. The first two or three days home he couldn't get any motivation to do anything outside watching business news (of course the huge story about ATT and T-Mobile was going on, something he teaches about!), but the last day or so he's had an interest in reading, doing email, and other somewhat mild activities.

Thank you all for praying!

How Long, O Lord?

This is a question I asked when Samantha was a baby and a toddler. How long would I be struggling with her behavior and special needs? Well, today as I read Psalm 3:3 "Consider and answer me, O Lord my God..." I knew that God had come to my rescue, that "he has dealt bountifully with me." (v.6)

Things are still hard, but in the midst of it all God keeps reminding me that we've come so far from where we were. Progress is steady and beautiful. Just a few days ago, I asked Samantha to apologize. She did, but reluctantly and with an edge to her voice. I asked her to do it again and she said it in a monotone, which for her was pretty good. To give some context, when she's been asked to apologize, she's either screamed she's sorry over and over, refused to say it, or tightened her chest and screeched it with clenched teeth. I had to wait till later and ask her again, and then she would barely say it. The beautiful thing about what happened the other day is that after she said she was sorry in a monotone, which I accepted, she came back to me a few minutes later and sincerely said, "I'm sorry, Mom." PROGRESS. ANSWER TO PRAYER!!!

You may be in a long hard situation that you wonder whether it will ever change. I want to encourage you today to keep trusting in God. Whether God changes the circumstances or not, you can know His love is steadfast and sure. He won't allow anything to ultimately harm you, that's His promise. I've learned to let go and say, "Lord, some things may never change. Samantha may always exhibit anxiety if not anything worse. But you will walk us through those situations and strengthen us through them. You have a plan for us."

The thing that keeps me going is stepping back and looking at the bigger picture, even as I face more hurdles on the horizon. One is Dave's third major abdominal surgery coming up. I have to admit it's a little scary, but I'm not dwelling on that. I'm counting my blessings, which are many:

Dave just went to Seoul as a keynote speaker for a major conference and as Katrina said was "an international superstar."

Ethan just interviewed for an internship in his field of study at State Farm.

Bryan is getting well connected to the music ministry opportunities in Nashville and is getting valuable experience for his future.

Katrina quoted Shakespeare's entire "To be or not to be" soliloquy to me last night, another evidence of what a great student she is: straight A's through high school so far!

I'm feeling better in general and able to function much more than I could a couple years ago.