Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Two week mark

Hi, it's been two weeks since I had my injection. I thought that if it worked I'd be feeling way different by now but my therapist told me it takes at least two weeks before you can really make any conclusions on how well it did the job. So I'm just waiting it out. My symptoms have settled down in some ways and been worse in others, and the bottom line is I still have to rely on my meds to get me through. Standing and walking have gotten easier, but sitting has been more of a problem. Right now I'm typing from my basic wooden rocker in my bedroom, it suits me pretty well. If this sitting trouble is just related to the injection itself, then I can be fairly encouraged because the standing and walking was what was hardest for me before.

I'm amazed I've been living with this for nine months now! I really don't want to sound like I'm complaining but I honestly don't remember what normal symptom free life is like. It's not like I'm always in pain, but there are so many times through my day that I'm feeling at least a little of something - stinging, stiffness, soreness, twitching, buzzing (yeah, it's like electricity and can be really annoying). Probably after the first two months I started blocking out what I was feeling at least part of the time. It just feels like me and I don't always realize it's there.

The reason the doctor decided to give me the injection was because even though I was starting to get better, it was so gradual he wanted to speed up the process. He also wanted to see if the SI joint is really the source of the problem; I should respond to the injection if it is. At the same time, my physical therapist tells me I'm such an unusual case symptomatically that what normally helps others may not work for me. She still feels fairly convinced the SI joint is the source of the trouble. It's hard not to agree w/ her because of how she examines me and can tell me exactly how I'm misaligned. Sometimes her treatments in the office help and sometime they just aggravate me more. It just depends, I'm not sure on what. She says it'll take a lot of work and time for my body to stabilize. I have to make it happen by strengthening all the supporting muscles. So far I'm on board to do what I think will help in the long run but there are times I question if we're on the right track. We'll see how things pan out and hopefully I'll have a better sense of things soon.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Today I had my SI joint injection, along w/ an injection in the adjoining muscle above it that is my "trigger point." The procedure was like going to the dentist. I received two numbing needles, then the actual injections. The doctor had an x-ray set up so he could see exactly where he was going. It lasted about 10 - 15 minutes. He showed me the x-ray then sent it home w/ me. The dye leaked beyond the joint which could indicate a torn ligament but there's no clear way of diagnosing that, just something to be aware of and follow. It could also be explained by other factors.

Time will tell if this helps my leg. Today I can do normal activity but no driving or anything strenuous. I don't have any pain. The numbness is wearing off and I have a slight ache in the muscle area. I can ice it today if it gets bad.

I've had a bad lower GI problem the past week which I'm trying to help by reducing my intake of iron (it's actually not constipating but the opposite). I called my neurologist Monday since she's the one who prescribed the iron but she was out of the office. Knowing I had this injection coming up, I went ahead and reduced the amount and will check in with her later. If everything gets back to normal on its own I may be able to resume the full course.

Dave found out that the inflammation in his bowel has increased from a blood test he had done. This is not good news, since he's been trying Cymzia and has had enough that it should have helped by now. I guess you could say we're still in the limping along through life mode.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Samantha was sad

Samantha was sad after school today. Why? Because they set the butterflies free. For the past couple weeks, they've watched them grow as caterpillars, build cocoons, and turn into beautiful butterflies.

I had a little talk with Samantha about how life is always changing. The butterflies teach us this. Change can be hard. The butterflies were probably happy to be set free, or at least oblivious, but the children they left behind had to say good-bye. There was a simple attachment that had to be broken.

And such is life. We make attachments and then have to let them go. Things change. Change has its good and bad sides. My firstborn will soon be a high school graduate. A very very good thing in light of all he's been through. But also a hard thing. To say good-bye in a more formal sense to childhood even though he's technically and maturity-wise an adult already. There's that push/pull, push/pull dynamic to everything in life.

Attachment is a good thing. I know this in more ways than one as an adoptive mom. We all need it to survive. But attachment and change are a recipe for pain. Is that where I should end? Of course not. Something is permanent. Our hearts are made to long for it. God, His kingdom, His people, and eternity. So as someone said, (and because I'm not as educated as I should be I don't know who), "the only thing that stays the same is change itself", is only true for the temporal.