Sunday, March 1, 2009
I'm learning to say it's okay to myself a lot more. If you know me well, you know I have perfectionist tendencies. That can be a good thing at times - I wouldn't want my roof caving in because the roofer decided it didn't really matter if he was precise. But sometimes things don't require perfection, and that's when it's time to say it's okay. First, my health is one of those things. Right now I can't have a perfect body (which I hope you know I don't mean in the cosmetic sense)and I've got to say okay, this is the way I'm going to feel. If I try to do anything physical, I'm going to have symptoms. That's just the facts, pure and simple. So what do I do, I push through till I've had enough and then try to find a comfortable position to rest. Right now I'm sitting on my bed with a lumbar pillow behind me and it feels pretty good. Earlier this evening I went to church and couldn't stay standing for the whole song set. I got what I guess I could call my "twisty" symptom when the inside of my leg feels like someone's ringing it out like a dishrag, yeah, ouch. But when I sat down I was fine. Back to the topic at hand - being okay with imperfection. The second main thing I've had to say it's okay about is my daughter Samantha's behavior. She is really something. Today she was having a loud screaming, crying episode which fortunately she doesn't have much anymore (thankfully). But there are so many other things that aren't really in that category that go against my perfectionist mindset. She still stands up on her chair sometimes during meals, she wants to dress and fix her hair in socially unacceptable ways, she splashes too much in the bath, etc. etc. She is now seven and I KNOW each of my other three were better "behaved" by her age, but who's comparing? Samantha is Samantha and I'm okay with her for now. I can't help but hope that someday she'll get with the program, and it won't be because of me. Believe me, I've tried.
Posted by Nita at 7:37 PM